Some white folks wonder, how are we, as a society, still dealing with all the ‘isms’. Why wasn’t racism resolved with the civil war, with the civil rights movement? ‘They’, those white supremacists, are so very wrong and I, ‘the other’, am so very right. Why can’t they see what I see? The reaction is usually disgust, fear and a righteousness when confronted with the ugliness that has been crawling out from under gnarly rocks for the past year or more. How is this happening? A better question is – why did I think racism (or sexism or any-ism) was essentially gone?

I’ve heard, or overheard, these statements in the last few months from white people.

• “I know it’s prejudice but, those Asians are always demanding more than is reasonable.”
• On the street I heard one older white guy call a woman he clearly didn’t care for a lazy n*****.
• “Hasidic jews are terrible people. They control parts of New York and are truly awful. It’s not prejudice to say so, it’s just the truth.”
• I heard screamed at a friend of mine. “Get your Jewish ass out of my country.”

The people I know who made those statements are completely deluded to their own racism and consider themselves liberals. Can you be surprised now? The racism bar is pretty low and easily crossed.

Yes, I know, many whites acknowledge there are still problems for people of color with police brutality, lack of quality employment, unfair imprisonment, lack of educational opportunities and wage inequality, but ‘we’ were working on that, right? Well, someone was working on it, yes?

Yes and no. Minorities, with some support, were attempting to make headway but the continuing rumble of white power kept progress at bay. Sticky problems stayed stuck. The issues for people of color listed above became worse, nothing was moving forward, but then, someone attempted to make a positive change and took down a statue, and then, someone took a knee and the barely contained racism gushed to the forefront clamoring in a cloak of alleged patriotism. Many whites were shocked.

The Long Arc of Social Justice

We’ve come a long way from lynchings by angry mobs, but those angry mobs have moved from the tree to the enraged online comment threads, a new freedom to spew hatred with their twisted righteousness. We no longer legally kill 300 blacks in 24 hours and destroy black towns, such as Greenwood, OK, based on a single accusation, (google Black Wall Street massacre) but we do arrest, kill and imprison blacks at an alarming rate. We are less blatantly violent but more sneaky in our superiority complex. At the very least we are guilty of our willingness to let someone else take care of the problem.

Many people I know who are racist don’t believe they are and appear to me to be deceived by a story they have told themselves for a long, long time, a story passed down from generation to generation, one where they are not racist but, for instance, are a harder worker than the average black guy. Use of racist terms is just ‘colorful language’ and ‘doesn’t really mean anything anymore’. It’s ‘I’m not the problem, so don’t bother me about it.’

If these groups hear a fact that does not match their beliefs, they go to great lengths to discredit the fact. For example, when confronted with statistics about blacks dying more often at the hands of the police than whites, they talk about how blacks kill more blacks which has nothing to do with the original assertion and is a different aspect of our racist society, but they can’t see the context. Or they talk about how police kill more whites than blacks – but only if you leave out the proportion of whites to blacks in our society. It’s hard work to keep yourself in the dark, yet many people do it all the time.

There are many people I know who will not discuss politics at all. People who do not want to feel the pain, the confusion of America today. The people who don’t vote or are not involved in a meaningful way are closer to 50% of the population.  We must reach the disconnected American. This is how change will happen.

Desperate to Avoid Seeing Your Little-Old-Self as the Problem

There are very few of us who will read this post and decide to do something. We are willing to accept our part in our current culture but many are not. Many will avoid the topic, the anxiety may be too high, or the shame too deep or the fear too overwhelming. We can remind our fellow white folks, it’s okay, breathe, admit you are part of the problem. Only by acknowledging our weaknesses can we find our strengths. The world will not come to an end, you will not die of shame or embarrassment. Believe me, there are millions of people who are in the same boat. We can admit our faults together and make real change in all of our futures.

Many whites don’t like being identified as a racist. They don’t see themselves that way because racism is defined as prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism toward someone of a different race because of the belief that my race is superior. That definition is not true for many whites. But today, racism needs a larger definition, it must include the obliviousness to the privileged system and the blinders put on to the struggles of people of color because it’s not right in your neighborhood (btw, chances are that’s not true) and your benefits from white privilege mean you don’t have to look around to see the pain others live.

The people that can make a meaningful impact are moving along in their own little worlds knowing they are not racist because they know black people, don’t see them as inferior and have no problem with them. They do not see the racism in their daily lives and assume it is happening elsewhere and someone else is taking care of the problems. Unfortunately this assumption keeps a blind eye to the hatred and fear that still exists from centuries of cruelty, enslavement and perceived superiority over all people of color from a larger portion of the population than we like to admit.

Of Course – Raging Racism and Hatred Still Exist

No need to be surprised. The atrocities and cruelty of our past were not that long ago. Those violent tendencies are buried deep in the unconsciousness of our society and continue aggressively into every day life. To many racist deniers, it seems normal to make fun of those that are different, maintain stereotypes, to laugh at a protestor being run over and killed by a white supremacist while the majority of us are horrified. It seems appropriate to swear at and degrade a grandmother in her Facebook feed if you disagree with her stance on gun control because we forget who we are talking to online or we don’t care, again, a disturbing reality. Fear is a powerful force when left to run amok. It has always been this way.

I admit, it’s hard for me to speak up when I hear these racist remarks. I don’t want to start a conflict with a neighbor or family member. I want the holidays and my walks around the block to be friendly. I take a deep breath, and remember, my discomfort is minimal in comparison to those who have fought this fight in the past. Key components will be to talk clearly without judgment. I was blind, I know my friends and family don’t mean to be blind, now I see, I want them to see too. It’s tough but easier than walking from Selma where your very life was in danger.

Taking a knee at a football game feels much more like a walk from Selma. I don’t know who in a stadium of thousands and thousands might be angry and violent enough to cause bodily harm. This is a much riskier stand. This would require a group of people willing to put their physical and psychological health on the line. We’ll know we are really making progress when white folks put themselves at risk in this manner.

Time to Smarten Up

What to do? There are simple steps that require courage. White people, the people with power and privilege, need to take the blinders off, look around and be of help. Four steps will get us there.

1. Talk to someone, anyone. Take a hand.   Pause.   Breath.   Ask questions.  Remember, it’s non-judgmental, open hearted, curious discussion.
2. We need to keep our focus on the signs of oppression that we have been ignoring. Fear is calmed by a steady, compassionate gaze. Listen to the stories on both sides of the equation, both have sagas of long held, deeply trusted viewpoints.
3. Make sure you understand the story. Misconceptions are best met with questions – how do you get to your viewpoint? Express your assumptions and check them out.
4. The world is made better with a collective, deep breath and a hopeful outlook. Discuss the possibility there are other ways to be on the planet. Possibilities where we don’t have to hold stereotypes – lazy blacks, scamming jews, difficult asians. What are the solutions?

The folks with the most power and privilege are middle class and upper class white people. Fact. What is the best way to continue to deal with racism and oppression? White folks have to take the blinders off, look around and speak up. Most of all, white people must listen. Listen, learn – what has been missed? Then, with guidance from people of color, white people must stand, or kneel, for justice with their voices, their actions and their dollars.

Maybe a whole NFL stadium needs to take a knee. How powerful would that be if a whole stadium knelt in honor of our great country and its brokenness?

What an act of love. What a way to move the long arc of justice forward.