Politics as a Spiritual Practice: Three Simple Steps

December 7, 2017December 8, 2017 / mmtichenor / 5 Comments

Enlightenment. Peace and happiness. These are yours for the taking and the time is ripe. If you ask people when they learned the most from life, they don’t say it was while they were watching TV or sipping the right wine with dinner. People identify the trials, the problems, diligently slogged through one day at a time as their greatest teachers. Adversity is an opportunity, and today, we are up to our ears in opportunities.

No matter what side of the political spectrum you fall on, or even if your not on it at all, there is plenty of irritating, galling or horrifying information flying around. Much of it propaganda or supposition, it still manages to create fear in our worried hearts. What you do with the fear makes all the difference. If you jump in with both feet, grab onto the horror, you will be one with the horror. If you ignore the fear, send it to it’s room until it can behave better, it seeps out like acid, burning through your best defenses. If you say – well, that’s just reality, what’s always been will always be, the past is the best predictor of the future – you doom yourself to a never changing world.

If you step back, put objective eyes on the subject, or better yet the person, and widen your view, chances are you’ll see something you haven’t noticed before. If you breathe deeply, let the fear drain through, clear your mind to focus on the here and now, you may realize there is something for you to digest, assimilate and master.

A spiritual practice is any time we are confronted with that which makes us uncomfortable, and, we don’t look away. We look in, deep within. What is true? If I drop my automatic reactions, what arises? Instead of fighting against, what would improve this situation? What would empathy do? What would hope do? What would love do?

Evolution is moving us away from tribes, expanding our idea of family, making a case for understanding your fellow human being beyond borders whether town, city, state or country. Beyond color, religion, nation of origin or political party. We can no longer tolerate judging others by their outer trappings or the propaganda we hear about “them”.

The reality is the world has morphed and changed for the positive in huge ways these past few eons, especially in the last few centuries. As once suggested by a wise teacher – the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. The arc of justice needs us. Let’s shorten that moral arc by standing up to that which no longer serves and change it as our stand-in-the-face-of-fear, take action, leaders modeled for us more than 50 years ago.

This is your opportunity to spend some time with chaos, fear and stuck beliefs in a friendly, open atmosphere filled with love and compassion for you and your fears. It’s a time to move through despair, to learn from these allies in healing, and as a result, pull the rest of the world with you.

Three simple steps.

Slow your mind and body. Allow what arises to be. Fill yourself with kindness and compassion. Breathe in peace. Let go of tension.
Put some distance between you and what arises. Act as an observer. Still with, but not in. Create a focus not of the mind but of the space around you. Feel the air, notice the trees, the clouds, make friends with the silence. Breathe. When you bring in the idea of politics today, What thoughts, fears, feelings arise? Where do you feel it in your body? What beliefs feel stuck? Write down what comes to you.
Question, question, question those beliefs from the space around you. This is not an activity of the brain, these answers come from whatever pops into your head the same as when you are taking a shower or driving mindlessly and something just occurs to you. What are some alternatives?

Insights will come to you. Explore these ideas. Journal the answers, talk with others you trust, do interpretive dance. It doesn’t really matter just as long as you are allowing, observing and questioning what you consider to be the immovable. These simple steps may not feel easy when conflicts and anxieties seize your attention but persevere.

Enlightenment is ours, not only for ourselves but ultimately for all, as a people and a nation. Americans have grit and ingenuity, tenacity and passion. We have a window, a chance to move the arc along in a major way. Big problems can bring leaps and bounds into new and wonderful territory.

Be the shooting star toward a better world.

#MeToo, Meet Your History

December 7, 2017December 23, 2017 / mmtichenor / Leave a comment

Take the story of Nancy who began a job at a top law firm, fresh out of school, excited and ready to test out her abilities in the real world. A story we have heard all to often becomes a reality for her when it becomes clear her boss will require her to “socialize” with him, read: sleep with him, if she wants to keep her job. Nancy certainly doesn’t want to comply, but doesn’t want to jeopardize this opportunity. She worries this boss will blackball her from any top organization.

Thinking there must be a way out, she turns to an older woman at the firm and is shocked to discover this woman met the demands of the same man at the beginning of her career. She had no advice, felt there was nothing to be done. If Nancy wants the job, she has to play the game.

Upset and angry, Nancy decides to confront her boss and demand he leave her alone. Chuckling, her boss insists these are her only choices, agree or be fired. Nancy escapes home to think, spending the afternoon frantically trying to figure a way out. This is not as easy as just quitting, besides jeopardizing her career path, she is desperate for money, her toddler is dependent on her with no help from the father.

Under threat of being evicted, her heart sinks as she concedes defeat, needing a paycheck until a new job releases her from this hell. She holds out hope she will be able to keep her boss at bay for as long as possible. Nauseous with disgust, she starts to leave for the office grabbing the mail as she goes out.

Nancy stops dead in her tracks when she sees a letter from her ex-husband and assumes it is a child support check. Her heart soars, relieved, she rips open the letter but it has no money and he explains it won’t for the foreseeable future. At this point, Nancy realizes she would have gone to the law office and said no if there had been money in the envelope, top job be damned. She then decides to turn down the job even though this will make her life impossible on so many levels. She’ll find something temporary, even if not a job as an attorney, to pay the bills.

Nancy returns to the office and defiantly informs her boss she will not be his mistress. As she turns to walk out, the boss chuckles again and calls her back. He smiles and says, well you can’t blame a guy for trying. He tells her she still has her job and get back to work. Nancy smiles, says yes sir, and gratefully goes out the door.

Wait, what??

Is that a shocking ending to this story? Does the whole story seem off? That is because this story is from an episode of Family titled ‘Expectations’ that aired on Dec 7, 1978. As I publish this post on the 39th anniversary, two fascinating realizations –

We’ve been talking about this for a very long time
Women grinning through gritted teeth, while working in a hostile environment, is finally beginning to enter mainstream America as an outrageous circumstance. One that now, potentially, publicly, has major consequences.

It’s almost a half century since that episode played into the homes all over America showing what slow learners we can be. The 1970’s took on the tough issues of the day. Brave producers created shows such as All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Wonder Woman, Mary Tyler Moore, Good Times, The Jeffersons and Welcome Back Kotter, tackling racism, sexism and promoting inclusive values. Yes, there was plenty of drivel, but these shows were talking about cancer, homelessness, war, sexual identity, alcoholism and family problems. These episodes look out of sync with the progress we have made and yet, painfully, we see these issues still rage on.

Brava TV

A year later, in January of 1979, Family aired an episode where Nancy finds out her fiancé, who runs her sons day care center, is a recovering pedophile. What an amazing time the 70’s were to tackle issues most Americans find repugnant and impossible to think about. In 1979 there was no public registration for offenders, this man could work anywhere, and the episode never mentions the inappropriateness of his being in charge of a building full of children. But when Nancy can’t trust him around her little sister, they break up and he moves away. It’s hard to imagine there were no controls then to keep children safe. We have made some good strides in this arena. We have a long way to go.

#MeToo

#MeToo has brought this conversation to light in a new way. More people seem to be getting it, realizing the lack of respect and outright denigration women face daily. Tough consequences are airing publicly as powerful men are falling in large numbers. Men are suddenly racking their brains for when they might have been out of line ‘all in fun’.

The conversation is now about how to determine the lines, or if there should even be any, maybe it’s pass/fail, zero tolerance, but I think more helpful than cutting people off is to continue the conversation and create meaningful actions. Criminal activity needs zero tolerance. Beyond that, what would help men understand the blind spots? What is better than Sensitivity Training often scoffed at by those who are required to participate? What would help communities to grow in realization of destructive behaviors and attitudes?

Sexual harassment is a major issue, millennial women seem to have a better ability to call it out, but many are still caught in the power differential. How to complain without losing my job, not getting the promotion or a raise? How to figure out if I’m just being a prude or can’t take a joke? How to get men as an active part of the process?

These are conversations we need to continue, keep in the forefront of American dialogue, creating frameworks and solutions to solve these dilemmas. Women for decades, for centuries, have been scrapping for their rights and it seems we might be getting somewhere. It’s about time.

The Proper Care and Feeding of Facebook

June 7, 2017June 7, 2017 / mmtichenor / 1 Comment

Would you like to protect yourself and avoid being controlled by those who may not have your best interest at heart? With clearer information on how we have been (and continue to be) manipulated, it’s time to make some needed changes in how you interact with Facebook (FB).

I remember some years ago, FB asked me if I agreed with the statement, ‘Facebook cares about me’. I responded with ‘Strongly Disagree’ because of the policy to sell my information, to change my settings – often to a more public option – without my permission and the lack of care on how that information might be used against me. Since then I occasionally get a message from FB saying “Because we care about you, here is a memory you posted last year.” or a prompt to check my privacy settings. These ‘memory’ posts are randomly selected so the relevance is hit or miss. I have had FB select a friend and the pictures in the little video don’t match. It’s a mess and it’s too little too late.

Contrary to these attestations of caring about me, FB is a business that cares about profits and stock prices. It can’t be about you and your life. I don’t think there is a malevolent intent but there is a malevolent result. Mark Zuckerberg is managing a behemoth that has a mind of its own and he runs it under his own belief system that is likely insulated from and out of touch with the average American life.

As you already realize, when you get something for ‘free’, you are paying in one way or another. On FB you are paying by handing over your personal data. Every click, like and share tells them about you. Every survey you complete, every test you take, any and all actions give them more and more data. Many of the “I bet no one will share this” or “I know which of my friends will respond” is just a manipulation to get you to click. Don’t fall for it. This data doesn’t stay with FB, it is sold and used by countless organizations some with your best interest in mind, some with intentions to engineer what you believe about the world to their advantage.

In the beginning, this was used for advertising by FB, Google and all other internet providers. It was creepy to have an ad come up from something you sent in an email, but, we got use to that. It is utterly wrong that now this information is spread around the world unscrupulously and into the hands of some very disturbed people who use it to manipulate our thinking, feelings and how we see each other. Time to make a change.

Go through your ‘Likes’ to weed out any person or site you are not sure is legitimate. This will be many or most of your likes. If someone wants to know what you like, get together, have a cup of tea or go for a walk and chat in person. Remember that? If they are far away, talk on the phone, write a snail mail letter or go for a visit. You deserve the vacation.
Go through your friend list and do likewise. Unless you are a band, or a writer, or a something that you want to promote, there is no reason to have friends you don’t know. It was a cool thing to say I have 634 or 1015 friends, as if that said something about how likable you are. We are all over that now, right? Let them go.
Do not get your news from FB ‘Unlike’ all or most of your news preferences. If you get your news from FB, it is skewed to what you want to hear. It is very important to pay for a subscription to an international, national, city and local newspaper, to visit their website to see all the news they believe is fit to print. Visit legitimate news organizations with differing viewpoints. You need to see all the happenings, not just what FB deems you need to know. Realize this is a manipulation to keep you coming back and clicking, outraged, interested, learning, some of it is good, but it is incomplete to say the least. Don’t allow yourself to be controlled. If you can’t afford to pay for subscriptions, do your best to visit a wide variety of news websites and ensure they are legitimate with real, live journalists.
Facebook functions like a casino where time stands still, likes of your posts are affirming and the lure of dopamine lurks in the stories you love to read. The whole idea is to keep you on FB, scrolling, clicking and possibly purchasing. The longer you are on, the more they will get to know you, what you want and sell you something whether it be that bicycle built for two you were checking out or the next president of the United States. There are no clocks, no changes as time flies. Set aside a time of day or day of the week for FB. You don’t need more than 15 minutes if you have reduced your feed to just your friends. Break the addiction, move on to something useful such as going for a walk, talking to a friend in person or reading a book. Turn off all notifications on your devices to keep from being drawn back in.
Facebook is for connecting and seeing what your friends are thinking. It can be about posting a news article you believe will be beneficial for your friends. It is about seeing what your friends are up to but remember FB tends to get just the good parts of our lives. Few people post the bad and the ugly and I appreciate it when they do, but remember, FB is tallying your thoughts, feelings, likes and dislikes to make a profile to keep you logged in and scrolling. Think about that when you post.

Ignore the hype, the sensationalism, the lure of fake news that is so prevalent on FB. Hone in on your friends. Think about every click. Better yet, head outdoors, talk to your neighbors. There’s a whole big world out there waiting for you.

Congress Votes with Lobbyists

May 11, 2017October 24, 2017 / mmtichenor / Leave a comment

Congress rarely votes for their constituents. Think about that. Issues important to the American people are rarely discussed in a meaningful way. Open and ethical debates are a thing of the distant past. Legislation is written by corporations and handed to congresspeople to be voted into law. Does this benefit the average American? No.

What Americans Want

Most Americans want tax reform to assist the poor and middle class.

Most Americans want healthcare at an affordable cost.

Most Americans want choice for women about their own bodies.

Most Americans want waiting periods to buy guns. Also, for convicted violent felons, potential terrorists and domestic violence offenders to be denied the ability to purchase a gun at all.

Most Americans want to stop lobbying.

Most Americans want Citizens United gone, gerrymandering fixed and campaign finance reform.

Why doesn’t this happen? Because we, the people, have lost our ability to vote out any poorly performing representative. We have to keep a careful balance of democrat and republican because ethics have gone by the wayside, democratic controls have been eroded and we can’t risk upsetting the precarious apple cart. And they know we will not vote them out, so they don’t have to bother with what we want.

We Need Brave Congresspeople

The issues listed above would greatly improve the lives of all Americans, not just the top 20%. If we want these issues to become a reality, we must put consistent and intense pressure on the most likely representatives and senators willing to enact this legislation. Look for organizations like the ACLU, the League of Women Voters and others specific to these issues to support in this endeavor. Send emails and make phone calls regularly to those congresspeople you think will listen and keep talking about the top three ways to support democratic principles – Citizens United, Gerrymandering, Campaign Finance Reform.

Together we are much stronger than any corporation. We must only believe it. Act on it.

Why do Bad Things Happen to Good Countries?

February 9, 2017August 18, 2024 / mmtichenor / Leave a comment

There are four reasons why I believe our country continues to struggle to find solid footing.

When an outdated way of thinking is becoming extinct, there is a wild grasping to maintain the status quo. This, I think, is the natural way of people. When change is too far out of one’s world view, it can cause panic, fear and anger which lead to wanting strong controls.
We are human beings with flaws. In the past few decades, Americans have become weary, hopeless and frozen to find a way to make politicians do their jobs. Gridlock made much of the country apathetic and unable to even talk about politics. Social convention ruled that polite conversation did not include religion, sex or politics. It came to be that people couldn’t talk about opposing political views without becoming enraged and abusive so conversation stopped.
Some of our suffering comes from people who are misguided and drunk with power. There is a profound immoral and malevolent aspect to humanity. It’s hard to accept this happens. When we ignore this aspect of our world, it can gain traction and pop up seemingly without warning. It’s time to take the blinders off and take a good look at who is wielding power and what they gain from that power. Also consider, who are the powerless and how are they being ignored?
Each side claims to have the higher ground. Right would say they follow a morality of loyalty to country and military, ability to carry weapons, care for the unborn and getting government out of our lives. Left would say their morality is to care for the planet, disenfranchised people, public education and protection of the little guy from the 99%. If you look closely you’ll find those items are not owned by right or left. All humans care about all of those issues. It’s how you go about solving these issues where we find differences.

Change comes when we help ourselves. We cannot rely on politicians to do the work we need to do. Much of our divisiveness comes from what we hear in the media and our politicians. Power can only be maintained if there is anger and hatred for one another because then we remain closed. The way out of this mess is to band together as a people and demand our politicians follow our lead. Here’s how to do that.

Open your mind to the “other side”. Where is there a point you agree with even if just a small sliver? What main issues do you agree need to be addressed?
We have the freedom to decide for ourselves how we want to interact in this world. Be aware of how you might be judgmental, biased or close minded. Are you passing on degrading or sensational memes and articles? Or are you ignoring what’s going on hoping it will all just go away? How can you be part of the solution?
Be aware of how you might follow party lines without question. Do you challenge your leaders when you don’t agree? It’s unlikely you will agree 100%. It’s time to allow for disagreeing with your own party and agreeing with the other party. We need to become more willing to cede points and negotiate to find collaboration.
I see some of my friends saying they won’t even look at what the ‘other’ has to say as they get too infuriated. This usually has to do with where ones facts come from and arguing about what is true. We need a way to break out of the idea that only your sources have the facts. In the meantime, let go of how they are saying what they want, to what they are saying that they want. For example, we all want safety from terrorists and an excellent vetting program. What ways can agreement be found that both of you can get behind?
Use a marketplace of reputable news sources, consider where the information is coming from using logic. Think deeply about conspiracy theories by either side promoted by a narrow set of sources. These are generally opinion and are often used to create panic so power can be asserted over the fearful.
Reach out to one another. Only “We” can fix our problems. What do you have in common with the guy who voted opposite of you? Where do you and your coworker agree? How can you and Aunt Bea talk peaceably about solutions?
If you become angry, stop and walk away. The anger is yours to figure out. Only talk to people when you can stay calm, open and listening.
Encourage creativity, new ideas and ways of thinking. We haven’t thought it all up yet. We don’t have absolute answers to every problem. The world is a growing, changing place. That cannot be stopped. We need to be adapting every day.

What is the real problem in America?

January 12, 2017February 15, 2017 / mmtichenor / Leave a comment

Here is the real problem with the United States of America: Nothing. Ha! I know, you think I’m not living in the real world, but think about this for a minute. We have an amazing system that is the culmination of every failed state that came before it. We have all the right checks and balances, wisdom and grace, to move through the quagmire in which we currently find ourselves. We have strong people that come from a multitude of backgrounds, people who have survived wars, famine, trauma, abuse all the way back to the 1600’s right up to today.

What we don’t have right now is the belief that we can change our world to work for everyone. America has been on a political seesaw that has everyone sick. It’s been the power of Republican vs. Democrat with a few Independents thrown in for good measure. When your side is in power, it seems we can solve problems once and for all. When your side is not in power, fear overwhelms and safety is gone. This is the system that needs to be fixed.

Political Plaid is about all of your voices, all of your ideas brought together, woven into a tapestry to create a foundation where we can build a world to solve problems. Looking at the banner of this website, notice that all the colors remain unique and intertwine with each other. It’s not about blending blue and red to make purple. We are not all the same and I don’t think we want to live in a world without individualism. It’s about being distinct but together.

This is the way forward. We are exhausted from the political tug of war. At this point in time, those in power have the opportunity to keep absolute power if we are not wise and open-minded. It’s time for radical change. It’s time to be keenly aware. It’s time to wake up to what all people are saying. Every side has a point that we would agree with. Time to find our common ground and build from there. America is most importantly a land of the people. All people. Every last one of us needs a place at the table.