In 2016 trolls were at their height of hate and visibility. Social media had little control and painful, traumatic comments were everywhere. Since then social media has done better getting rid of some of that, but mostly we are just more solidly in our own silos.

This is good and this is bad. There are fewer online triggers, but also less challenges to our own way of thinking. There are questions of what should be deleted and concerns that what is deleted might fall under censorship. That is a question for another day. The question for today is how do I engage in political conversation where opposing views are strongly held.

The only way to engage in potentially intense conversations is to ask more questions than to make statements. Be Columbo, or Monk, or Elsbeth looking for clues and details to help you understand their point of view. Ask questions that begin with What, How, or Why.

How did you come to that conclusion?

What fact sources do you use?

Why do you believe that?

If their answers are full of accusations, name calling or over-emotional, this person may not be able to have this conversation. Know when to fold ’em and walk away.

I believe most people want to and are capable of having difficult discussions. Give yourself and them a chance. I think you’ll be glad you did.