Year: 2017

Politics as a Spiritual Practice: Three Simple Steps

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Enlightenment. Peace and happiness. These are yours for the taking and the time is ripe. If you ask people when they learned the most from life, they don’t say it was while they were watching TV or sipping the right wine with dinner. People identify the trials, the problems, diligently slogged through one day at a time as their greatest teachers. Adversity is an opportunity, and today, we are up to our ears in opportunities.

No matter what side of the political spectrum you fall on, or even if your not on it at all, there is plenty of irritating, galling or horrifying information flying around. Much of it propaganda or supposition, it still manages to create fear in our worried hearts. What you do with the fear makes all the difference. If you jump in with both feet, grab onto the horror, you will be one with the horror. If you ignore the fear, send it to it’s room until it can behave better, it seeps out like acid, burning through your best defenses. If you say – well, that’s just reality, what’s always been will always be, the past is the best predictor of the future – you doom yourself to a never changing world.

If you step back, put objective eyes on the subject, or better yet the person, and widen your view, chances are you’ll see something you haven’t noticed before. If you breathe deeply, let the fear drain through, clear your mind to focus on the here and now, you may realize there is something for you to digest, assimilate and master.

A spiritual practice is any time we are confronted with that which makes us uncomfortable, and, we don’t look away. We look in, deep within. What is true? If I drop my automatic reactions, what arises? Instead of fighting against, what would improve this situation? What would empathy do? What would hope do? What would love do?

Evolution is moving us away from tribes, expanding our idea of family, making a case for understanding your fellow human being beyond borders whether town, city, state or country. Beyond color, religion, nation of origin or political party. We can no longer tolerate judging others by their outer trappings or the propaganda we hear about “them”.

The reality is the world has morphed and changed for the positive in huge ways these past few eons, especially in the last few centuries. As once suggested by a wise teacher – the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. The arc of justice needs us. Let’s shorten that moral arc by standing up to that which no longer serves and change it as our stand-in-the-face-of-fear, take action, leaders modeled for us more than 50 years ago.

This is your opportunity to spend some time with chaos, fear and stuck beliefs in a friendly, open atmosphere filled with love and compassion for you and your fears. It’s a time to move through despair, to learn from these allies in healing, and as a result, pull the rest of the world with you.

Three simple steps.

  1. Slow your mind and body. Allow what arises to be. Fill yourself with kindness and compassion. Breathe in peace. Let go of tension.
  2. Put some distance between you and what arises. Act as an observer. Still with, but not in. Create a focus not of the mind but of the space around you. Feel the air, notice the trees, the clouds, make friends with the silence. Breathe. When you bring in the idea of politics today, What thoughts, fears, feelings arise? Where do you feel it in your body? What beliefs feel stuck? Write down what comes to you.
  3. Question, question, question those beliefs from the space around you. This is not an activity of the brain, these answers come from whatever pops into your head the same as when you are taking a shower or driving mindlessly and something just occurs to you. What are some alternatives?

Insights will come to you. Explore these ideas. Journal the answers, talk with others you trust, do interpretive dance. It doesn’t really matter just as long as you are allowing, observing and questioning what you consider to be the immovable. These simple steps may not feel easy when conflicts and anxieties seize your attention but persevere.

Enlightenment is ours, not only for ourselves but ultimately for all, as a people and a nation. Americans have grit and ingenuity, tenacity and passion. We have a window, a chance to move the arc along in a major way. Big problems can bring leaps and bounds into new and wonderful territory.

Be the shooting star toward a better world.

#MeToo, Meet Your History

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Take the story of Nancy who began a job at a top law firm, fresh out of school, excited and ready to test out her abilities in the real world. A story we have heard all to often becomes a reality for her when it becomes clear her boss will require her to “socialize” with him, read: sleep with him, if she wants to keep her job. Nancy certainly doesn’t want to comply, but doesn’t want to jeopardize this opportunity. She worries this boss will blackball her from any top organization.

Thinking there must be a way out, she turns to an older woman at the firm and is shocked to discover this woman met the demands of the same man at the beginning of her career. She had no advice, felt there was nothing to be done. If Nancy wants the job, she has to play the game.

Upset and angry, Nancy decides to confront her boss and demand he leave her alone. Chuckling, her boss insists these are her only choices, agree or be fired. Nancy escapes home to think, spending the afternoon frantically trying to figure a way out. This is not as easy as just quitting, besides jeopardizing her career path, she is desperate for money, her toddler is dependent on her with no help from the father.

Under threat of being evicted, her heart sinks as she concedes defeat, needing a paycheck until a new job releases her from this hell.  She holds out hope she will be able to keep her boss at bay for as long as possible. Nauseous with disgust, she starts to leave for the office grabbing the mail as she goes out.

Nancy stops dead in her tracks when she sees a letter from her ex-husband and assumes it is a child support check. Her heart soars, relieved, she rips open the letter but it has no money and he explains it won’t for the foreseeable future.  At this point, Nancy realizes she would have gone to the law office and said no if there had been money in the envelope, top job be damned. She then decides to turn down the job even though this will make her life impossible on so many levels. She’ll find something temporary, even if not a job as an attorney, to pay the bills.

Nancy returns to the office and defiantly informs her boss she will not be his mistress. As she turns to walk out, the boss chuckles again and calls her back. He smiles and says, well you can’t blame a guy for trying. He tells her she still has her job and get back to work. Nancy smiles, says yes sir, and gratefully goes out the door.

Wait, what??

Is that a shocking ending to this story? Does the whole story seem off? That is because this story is from an episode of Family titled ‘Expectations’ that aired on Dec 7, 1978. As I publish this post on the 39th anniversary, two fascinating realizations –

  1. We’ve been talking about this for a very long time
  2. Women grinning through gritted teeth, while working in a hostile environment, is finally beginning to enter mainstream America as an outrageous circumstance. One that now, potentially, publicly, has major consequences.

It’s almost a half century since that episode played into the homes all over America showing what slow learners we can be. The 1970’s took on the tough issues of the day. Brave producers created shows such as All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Wonder Woman, Mary Tyler Moore, Good Times, The Jeffersons and Welcome Back Kotter, tackling racism, sexism and promoting inclusive values. Yes, there was plenty of drivel, but these shows were talking about cancer, homelessness, war, sexual identity, alcoholism and family problems. These episodes look out of sync with the progress we have made and yet, painfully, we see these issues still rage on.

Brava TV

A year later, in January of 1979, Family aired an episode where Nancy finds out her fiancé, who runs her sons day care center, is a recovering pedophile. What an amazing time the 70’s were to tackle issues most Americans find repugnant and impossible to think about. In 1979 there was no public registration for offenders, this man could work anywhere, and the episode never mentions the inappropriateness of his being in charge of a building full of children. But when Nancy can’t trust him around her little sister, they break up and he moves away. It’s hard to imagine there were no controls then to keep children safe. We have made some good strides in this arena. We have a long way to go.

#MeToo

#MeToo has brought this conversation to light in a new way. More people seem to be getting it, realizing the lack of respect and outright denigration women face daily. Tough consequences are airing publicly as powerful men are falling in large numbers. Men are suddenly racking their brains for when they might have been out of line ‘all in fun’.

The conversation is now about how to determine the lines, or if there should even be any, maybe it’s pass/fail, zero tolerance, but I think more helpful than cutting people off is to continue the conversation and create meaningful actions. Criminal activity needs zero tolerance. Beyond that, what would help men understand the blind spots?  What is better than Sensitivity Training often scoffed at by those who are required to participate? What would help communities to grow in realization of destructive behaviors and attitudes?

Sexual harassment is a major issue, millennial women seem to have a better ability to call it out, but many are still caught in the power differential. How to complain without losing my job, not getting the promotion or a raise? How to figure out if I’m just being a prude or can’t take a joke? How to get men as an active part of the process?

These are conversations we need to continue, keep in the forefront of American dialogue, creating frameworks and solutions to solve these dilemmas. Women for decades, for centuries, have been scrapping for their rights and it seems we might be getting somewhere. It’s about time.

 

 

Veterans Day Message

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Today, November 11, 2017, the president of the United States disrespected our intelligence community while in a foreign country, shouted out support for Putin and expressed worry with how unhappy Putin is with our investigation of Russia.

Really.    I kid you not.    That happened today.

Not the Veterans Day message we usually get but one that shows the devastation happening in our government.

Enough is enough. It was enough a year ago. We are better than this. I know Americans will stand up for Curry’s message every day of the week and it’s time we come together to vocalize our common beliefs. The following link is from Stephen Curry. It’s spot on.

https://www.theplayerstribune.com/stephen-curry-veterans-day/

 

What if a Whole NFL Stadium Took a Knee?

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Some white folks wonder, how are we, as a society, still dealing with all the ‘isms’. Why wasn’t racism resolved with the civil war, with the civil rights movement? ‘They’, those white supremacists, are so very wrong and I, ‘the other’, am so very right. Why can’t they see what I see? The reaction is usually disgust, fear and a righteousness when confronted with the ugliness that has been crawling out from under gnarly rocks for the past year or more. How is this happening? A better question is – why did I think racism (or sexism or any-ism) was essentially gone?

I’ve heard, or overheard, these statements in the last few months from white people.

  • “I know it’s prejudice but, those Asians are always demanding more than is reasonable.”
  • On the street I heard one older white guy call a woman he clearly didn’t care for a lazy n*****.
  • “Hasidic jews are terrible people. They control parts of New York and are truly awful. It’s not prejudice to say so, it’s just the truth.”
  • I heard screamed at a friend of mine. “Get your Jewish ass out of my country.”

The people I know who made those statements are completely deluded to their own racism and consider themselves liberals. Can you be surprised now? The racism bar is pretty low and easily crossed.

Yes, I know, many whites acknowledge there are still problems for people of color with police brutality, lack of quality employment, unfair imprisonment, lack of educational opportunities and wage inequality, but ‘we’ were working on that, right? Well, someone was working on it, yes?

Yes and no. Minorities, with some support, were attempting to make headway but the continuing rumble of white power kept progress at bay. Sticky problems stayed stuck. The issues for people of color listed above became worse, nothing was moving forward, but then, someone attempted to make a positive change and took down a statue, and then, someone took a knee and the barely contained racism gushed to the forefront clamoring in a cloak of alleged patriotism. Many whites were shocked.

The Long Arc of Social Justice

We’ve come a long way from lynchings by angry mobs, but those angry mobs have moved from the tree to the enraged online comment threads, a new freedom to spew hatred with their twisted righteousness. We no longer legally kill 300 blacks in 24 hours and destroy black towns, such as Greenwood, OK, based on a single accusation, (google Black Wall Street massacre) but we do arrest, kill and imprison blacks at an alarming rate. We are less blatantly violent but more sneaky in our superiority complex. At the very least we are guilty of our willingness to let someone else take care of the problem.

Many people I know who are racist don’t believe they are and appear to me to be deceived by a story they have told themselves for a long, long time, a story passed down from generation to generation, one where they are not racist but, for instance, are a harder worker than the average black guy. Use of racist terms is just ‘colorful language’ and ‘doesn’t really mean anything anymore’. It’s ‘I’m not the problem, so don’t bother me about it.’

If these groups hear a fact that does not match their beliefs, they go to great lengths to discredit the fact. For example, when confronted with statistics about blacks dying more often at the hands of the police than whites, they talk about how blacks kill more blacks which has nothing to do with the original assertion and is a different aspect of our racist society, but they can’t see the context. Or they talk about how police kill more whites than blacks – but only if you leave out the proportion of whites to blacks in our society. It’s hard work to keep yourself in the dark, yet many people do it all the time.

There are many people I know who will not discuss politics at all. People who do not want to feel the pain, the confusion of America today. The people who don’t vote or are not involved in a meaningful way are closer to 50% of the population.  We must reach the disconnected American. This is how change will happen.

Desperate to Avoid Seeing Your Little-Old-Self as the Problem

There are very few of us who will read this post and decide to do something. We are willing to accept our part in our current culture but many are not. Many will avoid the topic, the anxiety may be too high, or the shame too deep or the fear too overwhelming. We can remind our fellow white folks, it’s okay, breathe, admit you are part of the problem. Only by acknowledging our weaknesses can we find our strengths. The world will not come to an end, you will not die of shame or embarrassment. Believe me, there are millions of people who are in the same boat. We can admit our faults together and make real change in all of our futures.

Many whites don’t like being identified as a racist. They don’t see themselves that way because racism is defined as prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism toward someone of a different race because of the belief that my race is superior. That definition is not true for many whites. But today, racism needs a larger definition, it must include the obliviousness to the privileged system and the blinders put on to the struggles of people of color because it’s not right in your neighborhood (btw, chances are that’s not true) and your benefits from white privilege mean you don’t have to look around to see the pain others live.

The people that can make a meaningful impact are moving along in their own little worlds knowing they are not racist because they know black people, don’t see them as inferior and have no problem with them. They do not see the racism in their daily lives and assume it is happening elsewhere and someone else is taking care of the problems. Unfortunately this assumption keeps a blind eye to the hatred and fear that still exists from centuries of cruelty, enslavement and perceived superiority over all people of color from a larger portion of the population than we like to admit.

Of Course – Raging Racism and Hatred Still Exist

No need to be surprised. The atrocities and cruelty of our past were not that long ago. Those violent tendencies are buried deep in the unconsciousness of our society and continue aggressively into every day life. To many racist deniers, it seems normal to make fun of those that are different, maintain stereotypes, to laugh at a protestor being run over and killed by a white supremacist while the majority of us are horrified. It seems appropriate to swear at and degrade a grandmother in her Facebook feed if you disagree with her stance on gun control because we forget who we are talking to online or we don’t care, again, a disturbing reality. Fear is a powerful force when left to run amok. It has always been this way.

I admit, it’s hard for me to speak up when I hear these racist remarks. I don’t want to start a conflict with a neighbor or family member. I want the holidays and my walks around the block to be friendly. I take a deep breath, and remember, my discomfort is minimal in comparison to those who have fought this fight in the past. Key components will be to talk clearly without judgment. I was blind, I know my friends and family don’t mean to be blind, now I see, I want them to see too. It’s tough but easier than walking from Selma where your very life was in danger.

Taking a knee at a football game feels much more like a walk from Selma. I don’t know who in a stadium of thousands and thousands might be angry and violent enough to cause bodily harm. This is a much riskier stand. This would require a group of people willing to put their physical and psychological health on the line. We’ll know we are really making progress when white folks put themselves at risk in this manner.

Time to Smarten Up

What to do? There are simple steps that require courage. White people, the people with power and privilege, need to take the blinders off, look around and be of help. Four steps will get us there.

  1. Talk to someone, anyone. Take a hand.   Pause.   Breath.   Ask questions.  Remember, it’s non-judgmental, open hearted, curious discussion.
  2. We need to keep our focus on the signs of oppression that we have been ignoring. Fear is calmed by a steady, compassionate gaze. Listen to the stories on both sides of the equation, both have sagas of long held, deeply trusted viewpoints.
  3. Make sure you understand the story. Misconceptions are best met with questions – how do you get to your viewpoint? Express your assumptions and check them out.
  4. The world is made better with a collective, deep breath and a hopeful outlook. Discuss the possibility there are other ways to be on the planet. Possibilities where we don’t have to hold stereotypes – lazy blacks, scamming jews, difficult asians. What are the solutions?

The folks with the most power and privilege are middle class and upper class white people. Fact. What is the best way to continue to deal with racism and oppression? White folks have to take the blinders off, look around and speak up. Most of all, white people must listen. Listen, learn – what has been missed? Then, with guidance from people of color, white people must stand, or kneel, for justice with their voices, their actions and their dollars.

Maybe a whole NFL stadium needs to take a knee. How powerful would that be if a whole stadium knelt in honor of our great country and its brokenness?

What an act of love. What a way to move the long arc of justice forward.

What Is That State Patrolman Doing?

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I watched as a State Patrol officer carefully navigated through the homeless camp. His cruiser parked on the side of the highway with lights flashing, the decrepit, makeshift tents tucked under scrubby trees and the litter everywhere gave an immediate impression of danger and courage. My eyes took this all in at high speed, his crisp, clean uniform, the way he was likely watching for sharp needles hidden in the dirt and weeds. I wondered, why was he there? Did someone call 911? There were no people I could see to meet him. He gingerly walked toward the tents. He was alone. This did not seem right on so many levels.

How did we get here? Here, where huge numbers of men, women, veterans and children are discarded on the side of the road. Here, where brave people are left to manage the “untouchables” in our society. Here, where the rest of us drive on around the corner feeling lost and hopeless to solve this problem.

I once suggested calling 911 over and over again, every time I saw a homeless person in distress, as a way to raise the call-in numbers and force more funding for the disenfranchised in our society. Is that the entry point to fixing this problem? Do we force the government to pay for more EMT’s to take these folks to the hospitals? Do we force a larger line in the budget to support social service agencies to hire more social workers to provide these folks with services that will turn their lives around? Do we agree to pay taxes toward care for these people that actually make a difference? How do we get the village to work this problem together because it can’t be done by individuals, it can’t be done by charities and churches and it can’t be done by a lone cop walking into who knows what kind of peril. If these solutions could work, we’d be all set by now.

If the average American were able to assist their son or daughter or sister or uncle to get help, it would have happened by now. We can no longer delude ourselves there are enough volunteers to manage this avalanche of need in our society. I am deeply grateful to our military and our police, our EMT’s and other First Responders and we can talk all day about how we honor these gritty and hardy frontline people, but until we back that up with broad support for all the jobs we ask them to do, our best intentions turn into platitudes.

We need to demand of our representatives a budget in congress that reflects our values and needs as a nation. It’s considered unpatriotic to question the military budget but this righteously imposed gag rule keeps the average American from really looking at the issue. It seems there are greedy folks working hard to keep us in the dark because knowledgeable Americans will upset the money making military machine. If the budget can’t take close scrutiny, especially the military budget, there must not be good answers to hard questions.

You may want to do some research on how the budget is spent, on who benefits from it’s current configuration, and notice the proposed budget gives more money to the military than even the pentagon requested. Why is that? Look at what is going on and send an email to your representative regarding your values. Ask for an audit of the military budget. The last time we did that, we discovered we were paying hundreds of dollars for one toilet or screwdriver. We can no longer be blind sheep.

If we had money in the budget for the struggling, the unlucky and the disadvantaged, that State Patrol Officer would be two officers with EMT’s and Social Workers at the ready to make an actual difference for the people who don’t know how or can’t seem to get their lives on track. We need The Helpers who create programs that work, places filled with care that we can still donate to, still volunteer for, but don’t have to worry about the backbone of the organization.

Wake up, look around. We are defining the Soul of America. Where do you come in? We solve these issues together. As One. See that police officer doing more than he should have to do. See the homeless on the street as people. And decide what you will do.

Then do it.

Culture Shock within America

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The Trump supporter I talked with today was a laid back, small town chiropractor in liberal, upstate New York. He munched a sandwich while I inquired about his Trump flag and Trump t-shirt pinned to the office waiting room wall. Clearly he felt this improved his business to have his opinions publicly displayed. It made me curious about this little town where the differences in political beliefs can change dramatically from one doorway to another.

I asked him “You are a Trump supporter?”

“Yup” he replied casually.

“I’m curious about why you are a Trump supporter today?”

“For patriotism.”

I nod my head knowing there is no easy way to continue the conversation and I don’t have time to debate the definition of patriotism.

“Are you a liberal?” he inquires.

“I don’t think of myself as one way or the other.” I respond.

He nods his head and proclaims, “You’re a liberal. You have to be.”

And there it is. The shut down that prevents people from talking. I don’t have time, he has his assumptions. From the looks of it on the surface, I’m not sure any amount of time would change his mind.

“I’m bothered by the ethics and the greed for the top 20%” I say as he gently touches my shoulder and turns me toward the door. “That’s the main issue for me, the ethics and the greed.”

He nods as I walk outside, his face exposing his search for a response to my statement. Unable to find one, he turns and walks back in his shop.  Maybe he is of the same mind as I am, it isn’t possible to have this discussion in a short, few minutes. Maybe he also thinks I have stuck assumptions about him.

I wish I could have stayed, sat in his plastic, red padded chairs and leaped into the cultural differences that now are apparent from neighbor to neighbor, storefront to storefront in this country. It’s hard to realize many people are not even close to your belief system. Before November 2016, many of us woke up each morning knowing the country we lived in, that our fellow Americans held the same ethical and moral beliefs. After November 2016, many Americans woke with a realization of the rising anger and hatred, fear and worry released into our beloved American dream.

Even though the American mind is fractured and unsure, we must breathe deeply and remember the common dreams we do share for this country. Even if we can’t change minds in a short time, I still think it beneficial to have the conversation because there are  basic beliefs we all share – the right to liberty, to live our lives as we see fit, the freedom to move ourselves forward with opportunities, that in the long run justice will prevail.

We may see the avenues to liberty, freedom and justice differently but we all hold those ideals close to our hearts whether liberal, conservative, libertarian or green party. Don’t let the descriptions by the media color your view of different groups. Talk to the people next to you. Listen to understand. Clarify your own thinking around your beliefs.

Take those fractured thoughts and see where they connect. Build on those connections. Hug your liberal or conservative or libertarian neighbor today. And breathe.

Fog Not Smog

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Fall brings the turn of the leaves, crisp air and sometimes fog, winding in and out of autumn trees, laying low in mountain meadows or hovering over lakes and bays. A silky, soft white fog mimics how the path in life can sometimes be obscured and the way forward can be hard to see. Just as the fog appears to block our progress, life can feel unclear, uncertain with no discernible way to go.

Fog may feel uncomfortable, scary even, but only because we hold on to the belief we should always be in control, always know what’s going on, always know which way to turn. It seems a problem, a thing to fix or fight to be had to get rid of the unknown.

When we accept the unknown as a steady part of life, it becomes a normal occurrence, sometimes confusing and unsure of which way to turn, but a natural way to slow down, be more thoughtful and pay more attention. In these circumstances, moving forward with care, with openness, slowly, watching for what feels right is the solution.

Where fog is part of nature, there is a problem made by humans which can only be resolved by humans. It’s an environment of ugly, dangerous smog which today is thick and choking the life out of America, a haze which seems to be covering our country in a toxic, unhealthy blanket, smothering anything that is good, riling all that is noxious, hurt, vulnerable, fearful and angry as it travels, pulling all into it’s appalling clutches. The smog is insidious, lurking, finding it’s way into the homes of average Americans, telling lies, grooming unaware people for it’s greedy purposes.

I think many people feel lost right now, caught in a trap with no apparent way to escape. Yes, the path is obscured, but whether it’s hidden by fog or smog makes a huge difference in how you deal with the stuckness. How can you tell if you are enveloped in fog or smog? Which way to turn? The answer is actually pretty easy to figure out. Look at how you feel. If your foggy path is yearning to express love, compassion and empathy, if the fog feels velvet, smooth and caring, you’re fog is part of nature and you are on the path to making the world a better place.

If your path harbors anger, hatred or fear, if you are shunning large groups of people, fearful because of where they come from or the color of their skin, if you are worried about those you aren’t buying into your version of life, you have been coopted, likely unaware, into the smog. It can be hard to tell because the story is believed to be true by so many of your friends and you see people on TV and the radio expressing your same views. If you listen carefully though, you’ll hear the fear, the anger, the worry the world will be destroyed unless everyone comes to your way of thinking. Many Americans are heavy in the smog today.

There may be people who are well educated, seemingly reasonable folks, but listen carefully, what is their message? If it is one of fear, of certainty they have the answers, if only everyone would do what they want – run the other way. Life does not work that way. Solutions are always trial and error. Find those who do not have all the answers but know how to be successful while championing the values of caring and inclusion, where the road forward is built with compassion. Clear out the fear of the smog and embrace the mystery of the fog.

Be sure to know, history shows, the sun always comes out eventually. We hope for sooner rather than later, and yet, at times the fog seems to last forever, but, the sun does come out. The sun is always there, it’s only obscured from view.

The path is one step at a time, with love.

One Change Would Fix America

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America has one problem. That sounds crazy, I know, but when you really get this one problem, you see how it bleeds into and controls everything. This one problem is – Ethics. Ethical tenets are the moral lens through which we make decisions about how to act and interact. We are completely lost in this country because we bought into a false story early in the 20th century. We moved from connected neighborhoods and towns that understood morals, values, family and community to disconnected, distracted individuals, traumatized and focused on the one thing believed to bring happiness –  Money. We threw out the ethics to find security only to discover we gave away the very thing we were looking for.

This is a cycle that can be seen throughout human history. One where power and greed combine to bring down one great nation after another. It’s happening again. Before your very eyes. Can you see it? It starts slowly and because we are a trusting lot, we assume people have our best interest at heart, we are like the frog in a pot on low heat, and America is about to get to the boiling point.

Those left who trust the current congress and administration are truly deluded into the powerful-and-rich-have-my-back story, fiercely defending the unethical actions as it’s just how it has to be. The powerful, rich people in charge of congress today often say one thing but do another. The ideas of collaboration, discussion and decision making based in deeply held values, so important to most Americans, seems to be a way of the long ago past. Americans want a system that takes our values into account, and on many of these values, the vast majority of Americans agree. Take these examples –

  • The financial district is set up to keep businesses safe. The rules and regulations protect corporations from being responsible for their risky behavior. Americans want the average person and the mom and pop stores to survive.
  • Companies going bankrupt pay suppliers first and retirement funds last. Americans want retirees protected.
  • Drug companies are not responsible for side effects that may permanently damage your quality of life. Americans want to know risks and be assisted when the worst happens.
  • Drug companies are allowed to push products such as opioids without regulation or supervision. Americans want the government to hold businesses to the medical ethic of first, do no harm.
  • Major corporations, such as oil companies with huge profits, garner government subsidies and tax breaks. Americans want corporations to pay their fair share.
  • The wealthiest of Americans are provided tax loop holes so they don’t pay taxes. Again, Americans just want a fair system.
  • Sole proprietor businesses are the cheapest to start but are also the easiest to sue with the least amount of protections.  Rather, the people in our government should encourage the safer LLC or even safer SCorp by making them the least expensive to start.
  • Tobacco companies are not required to stop selling their product or pay for the healthcare to repair the damage clearly connected by study after study on effected consumers. Americans do not want to pay the bill for a product that we know is lethal.
  • Global warming is downplayed in order to maintain profits over the health of our environment. Americans want clean water, air and land.
  • The people in our government today are jamming through their agenda without bipartisanship. Americans want politicians to work together.
  • Quality education, healthcare and jobs are hit and miss for the majority of Americans while the wealthy continue to pass the best of each within their tight knit group. Americans believe in an excellent public education, good paying jobs and quality healthcare.
  • Food quality is hidden, standards are loosened, and companies prepare food based on profits rather than health. Americans want healthy food.
  • The NRA, as main marketing firm for the gun manufacturers, creates fear and spreads misinformation in order to maintain record profits at the expense of American lives every day. The majority of Americans are clear on gun safety priorities for our society such as longer waiting periods and better systems for background checks when purchasing a gun as well as no guns for domestic violence cases or felons. These safety measures are ignored by a congress that does not need to be responsive to the American people.
  • The government has also banned studies on gun use and death by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Americans want solutions based in science.
  • The people in the government create confusion regarding the role of the press in the democratic process claiming reliable news sources as fake news. Americans want robust and accurate news sources.
  • The government is unbalanced with inexperienced, financial sector or racist members in the highest of offices. Americans want to be world leaders, showing the way using the best of democratic principles.

Ethics being the principles that govern a persons behavior based on values we hold dear in this country, would be the antidote to all of the above. Justice, freedom, generosity and integrity are just some of the avenues to holding an attitude of benefitting not only oneself but also society as a whole.

I know it seems impossible to affect a change but I know the secret to accomplishing this goal. Ready? It’s really very simple. We must come together and demand it. Simple but hard since you are going to need to give up your unwillingness to see any other point of view. However easy it is for you to do that, is how easy it will be to make this change.

You are in charge of the transformation of yourself and therefore the country when you drop your righteousness and listen. Every day Americans have so much more in common than we have been lead to believe. Search your heart. Your love and compassion knows no bounds. Allow that love to overcome your need to have it your way alone and see what happens.

This is how we save America.

Useful Definition of Hate Groups

/ VisionaryExtraordinaire / 1 Comment

Hate groups: A cult comprised of people that cope with their fear by wrapping it up in a righteousness that blames others for their losses, real or imagined. The cult is usually headed by a leader who is narcissistic, controlling and in need of devotion. Those leaders prey on people who are lost and vulnerable.

People are sometimes so deeply afraid they are unable to see beyond their own fallacies. The stories of our families and communities run deep, from generation to generation, and as a result can be difficult to dispel especially when there are other factors that propel a person to a hate group such as a history of trauma, mental illness, addiction and a learned helplessness in an authoritarian environment.

People are sucked in with positive words such as patriotism, freedom, faith, moral, and right. These are words many believe in, cherish and strive to live by and yet we struggle with which avenue is the right way. Is the way one of love? Lately love seems powerless in the face of hatred as we watch people become co-opted by groups that spread fear, anger and loathing. Why doesn’t it seem obvious to those who get caught up? Perhaps, because they  grew up surrounded by fear, anger and hatred, so for them, it seems normal.

Much of the internet is obsessed with identifying Charlottesville white supremacists so they will be fired from their jobs. I get it. Punish them. Beat them down. This may seem like a great idea, but it’s not working. Since these groups function like a cult, they inculcate new members, usually young men, and feed them stories, fuel their rage and then turn them loose to create havoc in the world. It’s all very satisfying to have a righteous story of oppression and we play right into their hands when we respond with the knee jerk reaction such as losing your job.

Sometimes people ‘outed’ on the internet claim to be contrite and strive to find a better way. If true, these are the folks on the fringe, more easily reached and therefore maybe it is useful to publicly expose their faulty thinking. Then again, as with anything on the internet, how do we know the results of our actions?

Consider a police officer in Springfield, MA, Officer Conrad Lariviere who wrote on Facebook about the Charlottesville woman being run over by a white supremacist terrorist: ‘Hahahaha love this, maybe people shouldn’t block road ways.’ When confronted, Lariviere stated he’s a “good man who made a stupid comment.”

The lack of empathy and inability to see why that comment is more than just stupid is a major part of the problem. Even though Officer Lariviere may regret being caught, he may not regret the sentiment. He may lose his job and could see the loss of his job as just more evidence of how oppressive society has become. It could drive him closer to the dark, deep underground, which then creates an even greater eruption when hatred spews into the light of day again.

Maybe Officer Lariviere needs to lose his job as he clearly cannot treat people fairly, but maybe something else needs to happen as well. How do we keep Officer Lariviere moving toward the light of day? I think it can only happen with patience, persistence and a passion for connection and understanding. We need to understand how Officer Lariviere got to a place where that comment was funny.

White supremacists have emerged in the approving light of Donald Trump. The hope is to gain acceptance by using the media to promote their agenda. How to they accomplish their goals? Websites. Radio. Television. Friendly, family oriented feel. You are a part of our group. We will stand by you no matter what. You do that for us, no matter what. Loyalty. Then rally and demonstrate. In the last two, they hope for violence from the countergroup so they can prove that the left-sided, liberal fascists are really the problem. When we meet the racists where they are at, we lose. We give them the drama and destruction the media loves to report. This only plays into their hands. Clearly meeting hate with hate is not the answer.

So, what is the alternative? You’re going to think I’ve sniffed a too many flowers, drunk too much love potion and sung Kumbaya around the campfire too many times, but, yes, the solution is to reach out in love.

What do I mean by that? I don’t mean the usual definition by some of bleeding hearts with hands full of tax payer cash to give to able bodied people. Some ideas are to –

  • Counter white supremacy demonstrations with ‘Stand Ins’ or ‘Sing Ins’ where people come to a protest or rally silently, stand a few feet apart from each other but in a group, in peaceful contrast to the hate spewing from the demonstrators. There would be no interaction, they may even be blocks or more apart. People would have compassion and love in their hearts for the demonstrators and hold an intention for a solution to the hatred they are viewing, sing songs of coming together or maybe recite poems and prayers. The idea is to be a peaceful, loving presence.
  • Start information campaigns to distribute accurate data regarding the issues in our society and how they might be overcome if we work together. Find or start an organization that either through technology or by campaigning door to door in small groups, aims to learn from people their issues and offers information for solving problems.
  • Insist your school district have civics curriculum and educate regarding all the ‘isms’ starting in elementary school. Require education in what it means to be a citizen and how a citizen fulfills their role in a democracy.
  • Call advertisers of racist websites, radio or other media to let them know you are boycotting their product and telling all the people you can reach to do the same. If the sources of information are disrupted or disappear, there is less opportunity for the cult leaders to find victims.

Ultimately, the answer lies in your own ability to calm, breathe, and move from a place of connection to yourself, the planet and her inhabitants. Look into your own hatred, righteousness and fear to see how you can find love. How will you express that love into the world? For, surely, now is the time.